Nobody Wants A Cranky Trophy Girl.

When you watch a pro motorcycle race on TV, you are watching a very polished event. The TV cameras are placed in just the right spot to make all the racers look great. Racers flying through the air in shiny new riding gear. Well dressed and well paid pit crews with all the coolest tools, and of course a pretty trophy girl to hand you your trophy for a job well done.

I so wish the above description was the norm for a racer like myself, but the reality is far from that. To start with, there is no TV, but there is usually an official photographer. The photographer's job is to hind behind a turn or a hill so you have no idea he is there, then snap a photo of you when you least expect it, usually at the most inopportune moment, like when you are standing up with your hand down the back of your pants trying to fix a wedgie.

My gear is far from shiny, unless you consider that Gorilla duct tape I use use to hold my knee guards together, part of my gear. Something about Gorilla duct tape, no matter how dirty it gets it seems to always be more shiny then anything else I have on.

My pit crew is not paid as it always consists entirely of friends or family. So when they overfill my tank and soak my crotch with 91 octane, I really can't complain too much otherwise I will be doing it myself the next race. But, it's not all that bad, once the excruciating stinging pain subsides, it does have kind of a cooling effect.

Now I'm not saying we don't have a pretty trophy girl in the series I usually race, she's very cute, but she is the promoters daughter and she is only four years old, so if the awards happen to be during nap time we will be doing without a trophy girl for that particular race. I guess we could wake her up for the awards ceremony but then she would be cranky, and nobody wants a cranky trophy girl.

Rob Swan
Qualifying Broker
Swan Realty
SwanRealtyRedRiver.com